" I wish he could be less bossy",
"he is just too quick-tempered and I cant stand it"
" I wish she could stop talking too much ", "she is just too proud"
These are the words and thought of so many folks all around the world. The Question is "Can you really change people?" Well what do you think? or what do I think?
People can be changed if you want them to be changed, but that depends on why you want them to change. This is what will tell if they would change or they would just keep pissing you off..
Then we need to give a thought to this..
Why do you want your spouse, your sibling, friend or whoever to change?
The first step is to make sure your reason is not selfish, e.g Do you want them to change so they can hang out with you more or pay the bills more when you go out with them?. Or is it because its just plainly not good for the person's health or a particular habit gets him/her into trouble? Whatever it is, Think about it and make sure it is not selfish.
Now the second step is; don't try to change them, you would probably be thinking right now."did you hear me right?" Yes, you did!
Don't try to beg or yell ." I don't like this habit, you have to stop drinking and smoking!" Do not try to sit down and start talking about why he/she needs to pick up healthy eating habits or why and how they don't express their love and how other men do. People do this every other day. The person probably wants to be a better person but he/she keeps going back to the same mistakes and it just doesn't work. So what do you do?
Third step; you have to see from their own point of view, understand that nobody can ever be like you, that is why we have diverse faces in the world and imagine if everyone was like you? The world will sure be a boring place to live in. You have to find something deeper to make you love them. understand their limitations for not being able to change that habit, and make them see that you understand.
This way, you are able to stand whatever thing they do that gets you pissed off.
The trick is when you do these three things especially loving people for the potential you see they can become; you begin to trust them with responsibilities and the person on the other hand is surprised at your gestures.
He/she sees that you are accepting and believing in them. Now they don't want to disappoint you because many of our loved ones are looking for people to believe in them and trust them, even when they have not earned it.
When you begin to see the potential that you know they can be; you begin to trust them towards that potential.
You would be surprised at how they would blow your mind.
They will finally see the main reason why you want them to stop that particular habit and they would also be able to open up to you about their biggest fears and challenges. Now they trust you. you will now trust them to make that change that is best for their lives.
Or You might just discover they never needed the change.
Its all about love. Try it.
"he is just too quick-tempered and I cant stand it"
" I wish she could stop talking too much ", "she is just too proud"
These are the words and thought of so many folks all around the world. The Question is "Can you really change people?" Well what do you think? or what do I think?
People can be changed if you want them to be changed, but that depends on why you want them to change. This is what will tell if they would change or they would just keep pissing you off..
Then we need to give a thought to this..
Why do you want your spouse, your sibling, friend or whoever to change?
Now the second step is; don't try to change them, you would probably be thinking right now."did you hear me right?" Yes, you did!
Don't try to beg or yell ." I don't like this habit, you have to stop drinking and smoking!" Do not try to sit down and start talking about why he/she needs to pick up healthy eating habits or why and how they don't express their love and how other men do. People do this every other day. The person probably wants to be a better person but he/she keeps going back to the same mistakes and it just doesn't work. So what do you do?
Third step; you have to see from their own point of view, understand that nobody can ever be like you, that is why we have diverse faces in the world and imagine if everyone was like you? The world will sure be a boring place to live in. You have to find something deeper to make you love them. understand their limitations for not being able to change that habit, and make them see that you understand.
This way, you are able to stand whatever thing they do that gets you pissed off.
The trick is when you do these three things especially loving people for the potential you see they can become; you begin to trust them with responsibilities and the person on the other hand is surprised at your gestures.
He/she sees that you are accepting and believing in them. Now they don't want to disappoint you because many of our loved ones are looking for people to believe in them and trust them, even when they have not earned it.
When you begin to see the potential that you know they can be; you begin to trust them towards that potential.
You would be surprised at how they would blow your mind.
They will finally see the main reason why you want them to stop that particular habit and they would also be able to open up to you about their biggest fears and challenges. Now they trust you. you will now trust them to make that change that is best for their lives.Its all about love. Try it.
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